peach seedz magazine

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Why is summer so long? I’m bored now!

When was the last time you did nothing? 

No, genuinely. Don’t read that sentence and skip over it. Close your eyes and think about the last time you did absolutely NOTHING. I am talking about the last time you had NO todolists, no meetups, no hidden agendas. The last time you just sat on the sofa wondering what to do next. And before you ask, driving doesn’t count!

I only associate the ‘I’m bored!’ feeling with being 10-years-old again and having the entire day to just spend how I wanted to with no timetable. As an adult, I don’t think I have felt that feeling in forever, and on top of that, in my mind: boredom = failure.

And this boredom is ridiculously exemplified every single summer. I hate the feeling when the novelty of summer wears off. Sometimes there’s comfort in being in the school/ university/ work routine because you know you have to plough through the hellish exams and
workload because it’s just how it works and there’s no way out.

But when you are suddenly given options and choices and endless time (or so it feels), it’s SO easy to just sleep in, scroll through Instagram and compare compare compare. I hate hearing about other people’s summers: some are earning huge sums of money working as interns (I’m not earning any money…), others seem to genuinely be on holiday every other week (I’m still in this country…) and then some go AWOL for the entire time (I require the phone to feel connected…). I find myself in the same position every June, where I plan out my summer and feel as if I am somehow ‘behind in life’ compared to my generation. 

And then there’s the whole stuff of getting in touch with people and “omg it’s been so long; we should plan something soon!’. I get it. There’s well wishes behind conversations like that, but it often puts a huge pressure on how I spend my summertime. I want to go on holiday, I want to earn enough money to go on holiday. I want to meet people, I want to read and cook and learn how to be a bartender, whilst going to the library and maybe signing up to the gym, whilst on top of all of that, spend time with family.

So many ‘I want’s. What a silly little privileged life, where I can’t even make my mind up! Genuinely, this happens every single year. And this summer I decided that instead of being a huge self-pitying pile of human flesh in the mornings, I was going to stop wanting so many things, and instead do what scares me the most: I was going to actively try and stay bored, because clearly that’s why I plan my summers: I’m so afraid of them not being ‘productive’ and ‘fulfilling’.

I decided to do the most BORING things again and again. So that instead of feeling sorry for myself, I had an excuse to be useless.

Honestly, the feeling was amazing. I’m not even saying that to make this article slightly readable. It was single-handedly my favourite month ever. I was a SLUG all day, every day, under the sun. I slept in until 1/2pm, and no one could tell me that I was being unproductive because that’s how I wanted to spend my time. The days were long and slowly I found myself wanting to cook or read because I had the time to. I felt like a kid again. 

The entirety of June this year I spent it being so utterly useless. It’s funny, because whilst at university, I often am so hard on myself if I spend too much time on TikTok or reels, and then during free time I also hate how I spend it on my phone. But this time, I just SAT on my phone, I texted people and watched YouTube videos and played Minecraft until I got so SO bored (and best thing? I wasn’t allowed to get mad at myself for doing so!).

And I won’t lie, there were times where I would get irritated watching other people or feel sorry for myself when I was awake until 4am on Pinterest. So as annoyance crept in, I slowly began to do things because I wanted to. Not too intense or anything, just some reading or meeting up with a select few people because I WANTED to, and as June progressed, I had fallen into a gentle easy rhythm of wanting to do things rather than an overwhelming bucket list of things. 

And yes, not every holiday period has the privilege of being a “let’s do nothing” vibe. There have been so many where I have had to work my ass off to afford the next year’s rent, but all I’m saying is that every now and then, when you get some free time, allow yourself to rot in peace instead of putting unrealistic stress to achieve it all.

Because in a world full of “bettering oneself”, we rarely get a chance to be that 10-year-old who was bored on the weekend. We exert so much of ourselves trying to be better people and fulfilling expectations that we genuinely do not give ourselves time in bed until 11am for fear of looking unambitious. And worse than that, we even sometimes plan our days off with forceful relaxing activities (“I can only watch this episode of Suits if I finish this essay”). 

We spend so much time trying to make our lives perfect, and reading self-help articles (hmm now I wonder, does this article qualify as one too…?) and booking once-in-a-lifetime holiday experiences, that we forget that sometimes we need a genuine break from the world to just rot (happily with no strings attached). 

So, on that happy note, I’m leaving you with a quote which hopefully gives you some solace about just existing (it definitely made me feel better 🙂

“At the top of Everest, behind every dead body was a once highly motivated person. Let’s all just take a step back. Please.” – from a reel I saw during my June of boredom.

Hope you enjoyed this, and remember life is long! Don’t jam pack it with things to a point where you stop enjoying it…